You become aware because everything around you is alive and beautiful. The girls at the International school were leaner and more sexualised, than the attitudes of girls back at my old academy, who were more reserved and covered up due to the cold and lousy weather.Down here we had a communal swimming pool, where everyone wore a bikini, as in everyday attire, something I only ever did on two weeks summer holidays.There was a drawback of course, I was fat, more so in my own eyes, I hated my body. Mother said it was just temporary, puppy fat, was the term she used and yes I had breasts and wore a brassiere, but were they breasts or just fat? Either way being on the poolside was a nightmare initially, especially with the brat pack of our condominium, who waltzed around outdoing each other when ever some delicious young guy came on the pool. These guys were all nationalities, visiting and doing work around the area, and living in staff housing, the girls were looking for dates and. She decided to take a long shower first to relax a little bit and clear her mind.In the shower the memories of the trip home were a torment for Lillian, random images of all the stares, and all the turning noses flashed in her mind. She felt so stressed, everybody looked down at her. She was used to be proud of her image, and she had despised women that looked a lot more descent than she did on her way home. She realized with shame that she never had seen anybody looking so slutty and so cheap in the public transportation, she felt pretty embarrassed of her clothes and her lack of shoes.But as the water washed down the dirt and the semen, she started to recover some confidence. She kept telling herself that she hadn't changed, that it was just an act, just one more challenge that she was facing successfully in order to accomplish the goal of graduating with honors, in order to start a shining professional career.With that certainty, she was more at ease, and she even started seeing.
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